what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
