I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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