So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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