...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
