I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
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