What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
