I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
