I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
