Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
