My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize