He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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