talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
