i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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