You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
