I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
