Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You've changed since you got that strap on
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize