i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
