The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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