I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
There r osticjed everywhere
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
