She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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