Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
