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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize