Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
