the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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