I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
