Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
