I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
