to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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