I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
