And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
