The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
