my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
