So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
two words...techno handjob
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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