i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
