Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
