Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
