OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
