And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
