I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
