Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
