she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
