My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
