I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
