no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
