so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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