we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
