chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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