she was so not down for the gang bang
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
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