# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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