We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
