I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
