so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
