She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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