god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
