I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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