it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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