your parents love me but you hate me
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
