Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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