Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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