i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize