well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
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