It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My penis needs a shock collar
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
