You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
