First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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